Hidden Agenda

I’m terrified to compare the amount of time I spend making to-do lists to the amount of time doing those things

Work in Process

It’s funny how operating a blender is statistically the worst thing you can do to blend in

Candle Light

COVID birthdays are a great way to combine the stress of getting older with the new stress of potentially contracting the virus

Billable Hours

I calculate my “billable rate” by the amount of time I spend ignoring the mountains of bills that pile up in my mailbox

Late Start

My number one pet peeve is people that are always late,
My number two pet peeve is just people in general.

Retirement Plan

At this point, my most viable side-hustle is “abandoning side-hustles that are not financially viable”

Truck Stop

Food trucks represent the constant blurring of the lines between cuisine and transportation and I for one cannot wait for the day that we just drive four-cheese lasagnas like it’s normal.

Liberal Art

The only universal artistic truth is that art is subjective. And also post-modernism is overrated.