Clap Back

Peer pressure is responsible for more standing ovations than Broadway

High Steaks

Humans are 60% water and snowmen are 100% water.

That means that you share more than half your DNA with a snowman. Or less. Who knows, I’m not a snow biologist.

So Basic

The key to minimalism is to start by having a ton of useless stuff.

Fresh Content

Real-life beats technology every time. Or, so I thought, until I got Netflix.

The Darkest Timeline

Project management is just like group projects from high school with slightly higher stakes and slightly less credit.

Hard Sell

When car shopping, you can drive a hard bargain by asking questions like “What’s good here?”, “What’s the mileage on this?” and “Can you show me your second-cheapest vehicle?”.

Weather or Not

If you ever want to test your risk tolerance, ask yourself whether you pack an umbrella when there’s a 40% chance of thunderstorms.

Breakout Role

“Sledgehammer” seems like a really unnecessary term for a tool that could just be called a “really big hammer”

Troll Face

For creatures that live in the water, trolls are always depicted as having dangerously-unmoisturized skin

Spoil and Trouble

How do you know when organic food has gone bad? This is not a joke, I literally cannot taste the difference